One healing trait from Dr. Spiegel's study (see yesterday's post) was being assertive with doctors. I think I'm pretty assertive with them, but it depends on the doctor and on how secure I feel.
I was more assertive with specialists in California because I felt that my primary doctor, whom I trusted completely, had my back. Now being in Texas still feels new. I don't feel I have a medical safety net yet, except for the surgeon.
Sometimes, with a particular doctor, I'm not assertive because I feel it won't do any good. Maybe I started out by being passive with that doctor. Or right then I was just overwhelmed.
Some women have always been discouraged from being assertive. For instance, my ex-husband tried to make me leave an assertiveness workshop. Maybe he thought assertive meant aggressive.
I need to remember to say:
Please let me finish. (Said very politely before I get angrier)
No, it doesn't feel like that.
What else could this be?
I've had this before.
How else could we treat this?
I need to speak.
I was really upset when I learned that the directions were not complete! How can we communicate so that doesn't happen again?
Yes, these are in bold type. They are urgent--urgent enough to practice before we get into the doctor's office.
I wish you health.