Morning Coffee

Last nights review on kneecap saving exercises

The (probably not) Last Word on Kneecaps

Kneecap total healing could be a teeny bit Faster, tho I am thankful for the progress.  It would probably be going even better if my weight program hadn't gone into slowdown..Remember, any weight I can lose saves unexpected weight on my joints, including knees.

 SO:  This morning I did almost a full hour of my favorite exercises that include ones that:

Strengthen my gluts without much strain on the kneecaps.

1. Prone leg lifts - one leg at a time.  (By now you know these are mostly Bed-cer-cises:

 I got this one from Mayo Clinic maybe:) Just lie on the bed, lift one leg at a time a pretty high but comfortable height rotate legs.  (On second thought I originally got this in rehab after spine sugery.  That place has had different names, but I know they suggested I send away for some green thing to help pull leg up.  I don't need that.

2. Then I rotate lifting one just a few inches, and cross it over the other one, then bring it back down.

3. Next, still lying on my back,  slide legs on bed apart, then bring gently back together and apart.  Do a comfortable number of repeats.  

4. If that's all too much reason to go back to sleep, in living room or outdoors with the cane, I walk sideways with legs gently straight, then switch and lead with the other leg for ten or more feet.  

None of this makes my kneecaps do much since they hardly even bend.

Don't do anything fancy in the tub.  I have my cane next to the tub for all showers and shower/shampoos.  

 A neighbor has an emergency pull cord:  he keeps it IN THE TUB, which is where he might be likely to slip.

I wish you health.

FALLING... A CONFESSION

CONFESSION ON FALLING                                                                                                                                                            

When I hit the ground, my first thought was: My life is over. 

Coming out of a shop, I had fallen forward at the curb.  Maybe my cane,  bag and my purchase had helped to break the fall.   A little woman insisted on helping me up and going with me to the car.

I drove myself home.

I was surprised to get up and drive.  (After all, in the American press, when older women fall down:   its assumed that parts are broken).  

 At home, did all the regular things;  there didn’t seem any broken bones and really no pain, considered a doc appointment, put veggies in the microwave. 

Had some good thoughts:  I've  had  two bone scans in TX , had an x ray when the other knee bucked, and I am on Prolia, which was credited for putting new bone on one hip.  

 You can guess the next part:  I got on line with the same med groups I’d consulted the previous week.  Re-checked the gluts exercises and decided to cut way down the amount of heavy groceries and things I would carry for a while. Keep some padding under the feet.   And lay off climbing stairs for now.  Looking for specifics on some gluts exercises found on line.  And exercise more but gently.

And the doctor gave me a week, said then if I wasn’t okay,  a cortisone shot, though he knows my feelings on steroids. I didn't need the shot. He doesn't  give me the "as we get older" sermons. --one reason I like him.

Why had I thought my life was over? Because of the news being full of "Reasons one must keep an older relative from doing anything for fear of a fall that will break many bones."  But my doctor, my friends, and my family have let me be normal, did  not panic,even sent me to get one person's meds, and live life.  Bless them all.

What has changed.  

I’m even more careful to buy less food and carry less  heavy things at one time.. But I still don't exercise gently but enough. 

 Should I be afraid to cross the street?   I've always worn sunglasses if needed, as I’m sure you do.    My reflexes are well above average for people younger than I am. Still... 
.
I have lost my loving enthusiasm for walking here at night, at least for now.  Even with a big flashlight, the sidewalk seems much more uneven than I remember, so I don't feel comfortable.  Better do the hated indoor walking for a while.  Changes, even temporary -  may be sad.

 Will I always be a bit afraid of falling?  Maybe just the right amount.

I wish you health.

   

NO, IT WASN'T A TEST FALL!

OCTOBER 14, 2019      

                          

 NO, it wasn’t a test fall!

I fell last week a few minutes after my lovely pedi and calf massage.

RESULT– Both knees banged; the knee that had already been X-rayed for buckling is now on my mind every few minutes.  The cost – at least two doctor visits so far 

And of course making me feel dumb. (Lately I’d been worried about some lumpy places in the street at the doctor’s office.)   Then a second of not watching the floor in a shopping center, and down I went!

 Treatment:  SO, back to the doctor.  I’m able to do my walks around here.  And I still do my little
exercises for my gluts. (Ask me about them.)  But I’m so aware of the knee that had buckled before….so is the Doctor.

And awareness of my body weight and what I lift or carry..   Just in time:  

Some math from Mayo Clinic reminded me to concentrate more on what I have already been doing:     “Lose weight. If you're overweight, each additional pound you carry translates to another 4 pounds of pressure on the joints.” (bold mine)  I had never realized that included knees.

Dr. Lars Richardson, an orthopedic surgeon with Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital says, "Getting your body mass index [BMI] to a healthy range will make your knees feel better,"    Have you ever looked up your bmi (body mass index)? It’s easy; instructions on line.

I still get those three vegies plus salad every day.  I even refused to eat cheese for two weeks. Weight and water are looking better.  Hope it’s helping the knees.

)  Forecast: I need to return something to the store where I fell, but much later.  Scared!

    Tomorrow if the left knee isn’t feeling perfect, Dr. wants me back for cortisone shot.

I wish you health and days of paying close attention!

FALLING: NOT THE LAST WORD ON KNEES

True, I do want my knee to get better.  And maybe the almost important reason is:


I want that knee and all it includes to help

keep me from falling!

KNEE BUCKLE UPDATE The Hard Stuff:

The doctor sent me to get a knee X-ray the other day.   Perhaps because I was still carrying the cane and seemed a little slow and discouraged.  They let me know the next day:  the meniscus was not torn.  Great news.  So I don't have to have anything radical done.

The other news:  I still need to be cautious instead of careless. There is good news, though.

 Yesterday was a madhouse, and I didn't exercise much.  There are a lot of simple exercises to protect that knee, and some of them I can do easily.  Some even in bed as they taught me years ago in rehab.
I picked some easy ones from Harvard Health "Age Proof your knees"article on line
Standing on hard floors is discouraged, so found some soft shoes for kitchen duties, etc.

Amazing news is:  the effect of weight on the knee.  Two articles I value on the web say:  If you need to lose weight, lose it.

I have been working on that, but not enough.  I still worried last week when I had to carry my three-liter water to the apartment.   Harvard Health articles told me

 how much pressure each pound I carry puts on a knee cap.

SO NO 3-liter water for coffee for a while. Star-Bucks when I want good coffee .

BIGGEST DECISION: also gave up cheese! to see if that keeps the weight loss going.

I wish you health.

Knee BUCKLED? YIKES A Rant MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

It was after two tough weeks of working on the apartment.  Of course, the first reliable big-hospital opinion I saw on knees buckling assured me that a knee buckling could lead to falling.  (I knew that. But ...but...)  Okay, it could.  I'm very gently exercising the muscles that support my kneecap, avoiding standing too long on hard surfaces,  trying not to prove anything by carrying too many groceries too far, too fast.  And I keep the cane with me in case of in case.  Fact:  I haven't been very religious about exercises my Pth knows that I know.  If it ever stops thundering and rain storming, I will see the doctor about this.

Remember, if you got any medical advice from this blog it would be:  Tell your doctor about everything.  I wish you health.

FALLING Don't Shoot the Throw-rug

 Rug story:    

During WW2,  Mom and Grandma sewed badly-worn clothes into long strips and sent them to a woman who made throw rugs.  We needed several for our kitchen and its long hallway.  

Two women and sometimes Daddy doing all kinds of work with scrub water and dangerous boiling water from cooking, and steaming water from pressure cooking. There was danger.  And then I learned to cook. Why do I tell you this?

Because no one fell down. 

Why not?   What worked?  

Usually sensible adults…  

Mostly, they had fewer distractions, no tv, phone on wall, one radio on each floor. Wet linoleum had newspapers on it to avoid slipping. No dogs in house.

Big safe feature: carpet in the rest of the  of house including stairs , and sturdy rubber mats on basement stairs and in the laundry and chicken-cleaning room. 

Then the world invented new hazards. TV in so many places you might sit on it by accident.  Stuff we want is in pictures on the new phone.  New, pretty (and sometimes slick) floors in kitchen and bath. Shoes;  Comfy (maybe), pretty, desirable but rarely safe shoes for ­­­­both sexes worn all day for everything.  

 We are moving oftener, for jobs or better schools, or whatever.  So rugs may be practical.

In the last 15 years, no apartment was desirable without nice wood or faux wood floors, despite noise from rooms with area rugs (including noise of people falling.)     

Nobody checks  pretty floors for safety. Luckily, my apartment has carpet.  

                                       SO HOW DO WE AVOID FALLING?

Balance IS NOT A GUESSING GAME: 

At my request, my MD found a very detail-oriented Physical therapist who first tested to make sure I have the levels of balance to help protect from falls everywhere at home. He was strong enough to catch me when I barely passed the test. Then he cheeked even stepping off curbs en route to the coffee  shop. .)  By the way, I was trained in acute rehab for stepping off curbs; if we don’t practice, we have to learn again.

He walked with me, even on a grassy area to see how I do.  (I would like more work like that, since some grass area is lumpy between me and Starbucks  

He also checked my gait.  (You need someone who KNOWS how to do that, not just someone who works in a foot doctor’s office.)  My gait varies a lot so I need to (have to say it) practice and pay attention to it.

My REFLEXES are surprisingly good.   Any idea how yours are?

SHOES Guys are silly as women about shoes.  I no longer wear heels – a slight  wedge on my Clarks.(once, a senior female relative pitched a noisy fit in a store about giving up fashion heels.)  Don’t be her.

    We listen if someone tells us we’re not being careful.­­   We can learn to pay attention as we  move around.

It isn't easy.  It doesn't feel young and capable.  We have to.

         

COMING SOON TO FALLING: Don't kick the throw rug!

BATHROOM FALL? JUST PULL Midnight Special

If you live in a building big enough to have those cords on the bedroom and bath walls so you can pull to summon police, or firemen, did you ever need to pull one?

I've never had to use one, but recently three people have given me two insights to share:
First, seeing my apartment,one remarked that the cords were in bedroom and bath, yet I spend 80  or 90 per cent of my time in the big living room, with no cord.

Two more told me they only put the cord in the tub, which is the one place I might not only fall, but not be able to get up

The next night, in the kitchen, my knee buckled for the first time in years.  It was a little shaky for a couple of days, so I felt dependent on the cane.

When mild exercise doesn't help, and I need a shampoo, I know where to put that cord!

I wish you health.

DON'T DRIVE WITH IT, and DON'T FALL!

I rarely fall, but sometimes I'm clumsy, or think my balance is worse than it is, or...

 This UPI Health News made me stop and think, and : remember
https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2019/07/27/Some-medications-driving-ar
https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2019/07/27/Some-medications-driving-are-dangerous-duo/3191564243177/

HEALTH NEWS

UPDATED JULY 27, 2019 AT 12:48 PM

"Some medications, driving are dangerous duo" by HealthDay News

I had to search in upi to find this article again under "driving." but I suggest you look it up if you're interested in the driving side of side effects.

" some prescription and over-the-counter medicines can cause side effects that make it unsafe to drive," the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warns."

As I see it, The partial list of what these meds can do, has DON'T WALK Even at home written all over it. 

" side effects can include

sleepiness

drowsiness,

blurred vision,

dizziness, 

slowed movement,

fainting 

inability to focus or pay attention

nausea and excitability."     

They note that some meds wear off quickly, and others not til the next day.  That's helpful for driving, but maybe we fall most often at home. How do I know which is which?  I have to ask or look it up.

I had bad drowsiness years ago with codeine pills for  cleansing grains in my eye.  Had to set down the phone and lie down in the hall.  My LA doctor said once you've had such a problem, you could have  same years later!  So...I have a note at the top of my meds list "no codeine."  

I  fell a few years ago here in Texas, as I may have mentioned, after taking 1/3 of an Rx muscle relaxer .  So they are another warning at top of my meds list.

And, I write:" average dose of some medicines are TOO strong for me.  People of different ages have different needs sometimes.

Please tell me you have any warning you need at the top of your meds list.  And please tell me you HAVE a meds list for your doctors.  That way the Dr. may discuss falling with you.  Don't let an assistant dump all this under allergy.

Oh, and my friends confessed cutting allergy pills in half, and I confess I do, too, since they affect my dry eye as well.

So many drugs, so many dangers including falling!

The main thing I do for possible side effects including falling:

I look up the pill he suggests on line, from some real doctors medical group or major hospital I trust, and write down any side effects that might make me get careless, stumble, or fall.  

I don't have a good source for how long it takes after I take it for a pill to be safe against falls.

 There is a pharmacist I trust here, but he is often on anther shift.

 So I read that huge warning list that they stuff in the bag with the pill bottle!

I wish you health.

I also 

Most people I know seem to know that allergy pills can make us drowsy--I idn't really think much about it until lately.  But my doctor mentioned a couple I took years ago.  When I tried on here in my o livinwng room, I turned to my left to pick something off my desk, and had to grab a chair - instant dizziness!   

several friends and one relative now cut a popular allergy pill in half.  Confess I secretly do that, too.

You and I know by now what can happen 

How do I know which one is really dangerous for Me/  And HOw dangerous.

Maybe you stay at home if you only know which ones make you sleepy. 
Sleepy enough to forget about that pretty littel bathroom rug?  Should it be replaced with a big, safe real bath mat?  The good ones arent so eacy to slide around on, and I know mine is right there by tub and toilet.  I need one, though, that's hard to wrinkle up when I wake at night.

And I do use my cane at night when I've been asleep and no bright lights are on.  

Have to restrict myself to the bottom step of my "step stool" because the top step is just in the wrong place and has nothing to hang onto. Some people tell me to brace myself against the cupboard on that one, but.....NO.
     

Several meds are on my med list I give the doctor.  At the top are my warnings to doctor that at some time I have had trouble with them,
 the nurse or assitant asks twice or 3 times if I am allergic to them.  I should SPELL it out: 
" this stuff made me dizzy,:  : I fell after taking this med once," fell asleep once after taking it, 
faintness, dizziness, drowsiness. I fainted for a minute on this med.".


 Not to mention what else we do during the day, (or night.P

FALLS: You? Me? Why some fatal?

A wonderful showhouse, a nice, warm evening reception.  Wine, music, the whole thing.  I had been invited at the last minute to ride along.  Grabbed my purse, keys, all but one thing: a drink of water.

We mingled, admired rooms, picked a favorite, had some wine, of course.  Then, returning to  the ca,; I knew I was going to fold gently down onto the sidewalk.  The fire dept was summoned, the fireman gave me a bottle of water, told me not to get up until I drank the whole thing. Emergency over.  

Was that a fall?  Is sliding down onto the bathroom floor after a third of a muscle relaxant pill a fall? 

Falls, I always thought, are big, sudden things I do not want.  Still have a bit of gravel in one knee from learning to ride a bike in a gravel driveway.Those were falls.  In adulthood, decided not to learn to ski. 

Still afraid I might fall.  Is this curb too high for these shoes?

 On line, I see everybody is hellbent to be the Best  Experts on falls for OlderAdults. (Could the big $ profit  on "helper gadgets" have something to do with this?)   

Sometimes it really can be as simple as a drink of water, which, as whole countries check in with over-100 temps, many people may not get in time.

I decided to find out why older persons are racking up all those falls with accompanying broken bones or even death.  Along the way, readers please give me your experiences.  

Meanwhile, get Mom or Dad or yourself a dependable thermos or a water bottle.

The Leftover Tamoxifen, My Doctor, and me

Because of prescription dates, I had a jar or two of Tamoxifen left over on the last day of the five years.  I hate waste, so I asked the doctor if there was someone who needed the rest of the pills.

Suddenly I got an unwelcome shot of reality.  "Throw them away.  They're cheap." he said.  He looked me in the eye and added firmly, "Do you know one pill for cancer can cost $9.00?"

Suddenly we were in two different worlds.  I'd heard astonishing prices for any cancer medication;  Far more than $9.  Far more than I would be able to pay..

I also knew the cost of those last bottles of Tamox.was noticeable on a retirement budget and Medicare. Affordable at that price for people near me?  It didn't really feel cheap.
 And what about women who need Tamox along with other meds?

We're all (I hope) a little more aware of Rx costs because of the desperation of people needing Insulin.   And my measles test (not immune) and the shot that I did need.  Yes, I think I'm still paying.
These are tough time for other people, too.. Someone has attempted to forge my identity for her heart treatments.

So is it silly to pass along Tamoxifen?

I still secretly have some left. What are your thoughts?

WHY I PICKED TAMOXIFEN An Important, little-known, fact

 "Even if you have stopped menstruating, your body may still produce small amounts of estrogen in the adrenal glands, fat tissue and even breast tissue." (From JohnsHopkins)

My doctor and I chose Tamoxifen even tho I was definitely very post-menopausal.  .  
To understand why I was glad to, it is important to know the difference between Tamoxifen and "those pills."   

Tamoxifen inhibits cancer cells from acting in the breast tissue.  Hopkins says specifically:"This drug impacts the effects of estrogen in cancer cells and helps reduce the risk that the breast cancer will recur in women of any age by almost 50 percent."  

The Aromatase inhibitors (such as "Arimidex" on the other hand  belong to a class of drugs that work by reducing the levels of estrogen in the body. I didn't like thinking about how they would do that.  

In either case, when it comes to aches and pains and other side effects many of us on either medicine could sympathize with those in the other. 

 Also, I had had DCIS, and Tamoxifen was already accepted for use there.

And once my dose had been halved, I was glad of my choice.

So I'm glad I chose it.   

Do I worry now without it?  No.  If I do, I'll let you know.

Am I "better." without it?   The best way I can answer is only to say:  I'm even more determined to be as healthy as I possibly can be. 
I wish you health.

Now ANOTHER MONTH WITHOUT TAMOXIFEN.

Am I my better after two months and a couple days without Tamoxifen?   If my new pills would please stop confusing me, I might know the answer.

I actually went back thru old day-at-a-time notebooks to see what I was complaining about several years ago.  Alas, I did not have a day-by-day notebook for that crazy time -- those am-I-insane months before the doctor cut my dose in half.  

I did have some muscle aches, but not the horrid wake-up-all night aches and cramps that my friend suffered on "the other medicine". 

  

The sad thing is those first months of Tamox-brain still at times make me mistrust my memory for no reason.

The main difference on no-Tamox?  I have mild (so far) hot flashes!  How's that for a joke on an 80-year old woman?! In Texas.

Maybe I'll still be better after a few months.

I wish you health. 

BUT THEN...What the.....

 All thru February, I'd been inching slowly back up from the goal weight I had reached.  And I'd made a note at times that my ankles and feet were swelling.  But mostly no after-Tamox problems.

Somewhere along in there,I had seen my family doctor, mentioned the ankles, told him I was retaining water.  I wasn't ready for water pills; told him and my lab tech that I was using the drinking more water cure, keeping hydrated.

Read my trusted parts of the med advice on the web, took notes

March 1
Asked family doctor if he had any really mild diuretics.  He phoned in Rx for a thiazide pill, my secret choice, for 90 days.  Guess there's no instant cure.

Promise I'll let you know if something happens that isn't water but that could be Tamoxifen.

I wish you health.

ONE MONTH AFTER TAMOX

This is not an April fool!

After I stopped Tamoxifen at the end of February, life got way too busy, and I didn't have time to feel abandoned, uncovered, unprotected, or anything.

When the shoulder  and back of neck pains started, I couldn't remember anything quite like that when I was taking too much Tamox.  I did remember finally that years ago in rehab, they said that even my purse was too heavy to wear on my shoulder.  Now I'm learning to carry groceries like we used to carry them in bags - sorta like carrying a baby.

Bottom line this far...I can't blame Tamox or leaving Tamox for anything.  (And yes, sometimes I still look right at my phone and can't see it, and I still leave my keys in dumb places as I did decades before I ever heard of Tamoxifen.)

I wish you health.

After Tamoxifen. Something spooky. MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

They're back!

Those scary looking red blobs under the epidermis.  Had them all the times in recent years.  Age ago, the oncologist told me big guys would come in with them, looking as if they'd been beaten up.  But somehow we'd get onto another subject and I never got him to narrow down on what they were or what caused them.

I coasted along, assuming that something...Tamoxifen or maybe Prolia...or both...were attacking my veins or capillaries.

Then in the past months, I almost never had one.  It sure wasn't less stress fluffing up my veins.  Recently, sometimes I didn't have any.

This week?  They're back..a couple big as my little fingernail and bloody-looking.  What is this?

Short time out for quick Google search, which I was planning weeks ago...

Didn't find much of anything.. platelets mentioned..but.   My labs from the oncologist were usually so good he was delighted.  My labs for other tests (from family doctor) are normal. 

Have you had these?  What was the diagnosis?  I don't see the oncologist for a year....so...?

I wish you health.

Half a month without Tamoxifen

HALF A MONTH WITH NO TAMOXIFEN:

Do I feel better without it?  Uh...No.  For one thing, we have measles in our area.  I remember Chicken Pox (Mom concerned about our eyes. Put us kids together in one room, etc,.)

Measles?  Nothing.  So I brooded.  Doctor offered the test.  Oops! Not immune.  Got the shot (not painful) but I have to wait six more days  before I can feel sure I'm immune.

So far, as to Tamox, I don't have muscle aches and "remembered after-effects" that some women have had.  So will that last?

So far, not scared into wanting more Tamox.

But:  It's been clear for years that oncologist was not correct when he told me I wouldn't have that tummy bulge he has.  I have it.  Did I get it from Tamox?  Who knows.  I was often lazy during those five years.  Now I'm collecting exercises for that bulge and more.

John's Hopkins has a giant pack of health handouts for diabetes, but I'm interested in the part: "The Skinny on Visceral Fat ... stored deep in the belly is the most harmful kind." There's a bit on exercise.  I'm having laptop trouble switching back to that, but I usually just ask Google for John's Hopkins exercises for visceral fat.

Okay, doctors and patients:  what's your experience with anyone being BETTER after leaving Tamoxifen?  How long will it take?

I wish you health.

FIRST DAY WITHOUT TAMOXIFEN Midnight Special

Spent a lot of time with my family doctor trying to clean up a few problems.  He is being great about seeing relationships of one or two probably minor problems to each other and what to do.

We didn't even mention Tamoxifen.  But my younger daughter talked with me on the phone and tactfully inquired about how a woman my age could really have any loose estrogen wandering around to get in trouble with a breast cell.  I read a little about that on line last night.

Don't let me get started waking up mornings hoping to find out if I'm "better without it" already, as the oncologist suggested was a possibility.

I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for, and a new prescription as a sort of flag for  starting over.

I wish you health.

TAMOXIFEN - TWO MORE DAYS

Tonight and tomorrow.  Then dispose of the rest of the Tamoxifen.

A certain anxiety around having no scheduled appointment with my onco for a year!  A head nurse in the infusion dept. looked so happy as she said quietly, "You don't have to come back for a year!" She doesn't get to say that often to any patient in there.  I should do a gratitude dance about this.

Took melatonin again last night - afraid to take my old standby gabapentin with it, since I need to wake enough to get up several times a night for the bathroom.  This is complicated.

Have I really made my home and my days ready for life without Tamoxifen?

  The light-proof b.r. window covering is showing its age, leaking light on the Texas pre-7-am sun mornings.  Once I get a safer step stool and a good tack hammer I might be able to do some curtain fixes.  Right now I'm not venturing out to buy tools or anything but food - not until I get a measles shot.

Earlier in the week:
Only spent one night with Melatonin.  Woke even oftener than usual.  Then took Tylenol to sleep.

As I've been digging around on line, I see some sites and big organizations are not as convinced as I am  about the Tulane Study conviction on melatonin with sleeping in the dark..  Some sites refer to "very early" studies, etc.  But several do advise sleeping in darkness. As I will.

Then Friday, I can start watching for signs that the Oncologist was right--that I may "be better without it."

I wish you health.

Remember, do not buy any medicines without consulting your doctor.

PART 3 WINDING DOWN tamox HOPE during and after.

What will I do for hope, comfort, protection after these last few days of Tamoxifen?   

A year or so ago, a Tulane U press release landed on my screen. And in my life. Reaching for Delete key (who are these people, anyway??)  I saw the name of the stuff that helps me resist BC tumors- Tamoxifen.  And I kept reading. 

It was about a study in  CANCER RESEARCH.   Tulane U  Circadian Cancer Biology Group had wondered

when Tamoxifen could work, and 

what could stop that work.  

Specifically if Tamoxifen can keep away BC tumors while we sleep, and if not, what might interfere?

THEY  put breast cancer tumors into some rats. First they tried rotating sleep periods of light and darkness for the rats.

Then, later, during the dark phases,  they gave rats a night-light, faint but enough to suppress melatonin. Melatonin when alone allowed growth of tumors.

The press release summed it up:

Tamoxifen caused dramatic regression...with

1  high levels of melatonin during complete darkness" or
2 with melatonin supplementation during dim light at night 

BUT
 "When lights are on and melatonin is suppressed, these breast cancer cells "wake up" and ignore Tamoxifen. 

So, what can I do with "high levels of melatonin (some added and some produced by my body in sleep) plus TOTAL DARKNESS FOR SLEEP?

I have more questions about this, but I knew I had to sleep with NO light to keep my body producing melatonin.  ( What about warnings I get not to take melatonin every night forever') 

My plan:

1. My daughter brought over some dark felt and made a pretty curtain to cover my  floor-to ceiling venetian blinds window.

2.   I got some melatonin. I have taken it at times in the past.    So maybe, I will even add some melatonin in case morning light defeats the felt curtain, and I need more sleep.

3. I even removed the kitchen night-light,

4. and finally shut the bedroom door tight. to keep out light from adjoining rooms.

Once, my boss's client announced

  her bedroom curtains must provide absolute darkness!
She had the money, and she got her wish

 That client was onto the wave of the future.

Now more and more people and groups advise sleeping in darkness. 

I wish you health.

Remember:  Do not buy any medicine without consulting your doctor.

LEAVING TAMOXIFEN ...2/14

So, this last month of Tamoxifen is half over.  Developments:

My oncologist, at that last appointment when he was so hurried, ordered a chest Xray. He didn't even say why.  I think it was the follow-up after my mammo, which the mammo group urges for patients who have dense breasts. So I had the Xray Jan.10. 

It is now March.   The radiologist ( a stranger) has been paid by someone, and I owe a small amount for "not covered."

Yesterday, Feb.13, I had no more patience, called the hospital imaging dept..  They didn't seem to know about it.  (Actually I had a chance or two, years ago when I worked at CAP, to learn that hospital filing systems are not always systems.)  I got someone to look.  He called back an hour and a half later; said he found it and sent it to my doctor's office.

I called the doctor's office, finally got the desk that receives those results.  Then I had to talk her into getting someone to read the results right then.  Gold star to me for not losing my temper.    Finally the nurse read the results (since when do nurses do this?) and said it looks normal.



Yesterday had been a pile of paper to sort long before the x-ray fun.  I left the apartment for a few minutes.  When I came back, some sweet person had left me a candy cane on the door.  Changed my mood in a hurry (and I don't even eat candy.) 

PS  In my first days of Tamoxifen, before the dose was cut in half, I could never had handled a day like yesterday.  May the doctor who cut the dose have dozens of valentines!

You comments are welcome here or.

 @mlsfleming2.

LEAVING TAMOXIFEN

Today I will take the first pill of my last month of Tamoxifen.

The doctor was in a serious hurry at my last appointment.  He made nervous gestures and seemed to illustrate that I would be scared without these pills that may have kept me disease free for five years.

And I admit I wondered once or twice if I would feel vulnerable...unprotected.

Then he said something I never expected:  "You may be better."

Yes, I'd had lots of aches and pains at first. But not as many as a friend who was taking aromatase pills.   And I did have such "chemo-brain that I forgot half my physical therapy appointments. 
But I'd had a busy year with lumbar fusion, moving across the country, and so on. 

And I felt like a normal person, and my pains had almost disappeared after he cut my dose in half--from 20 to 10 mg. 

 Will I be wondering every morning when I wake up, how February will be? 
Or will I dare to believe I will feel even better?   We'll see.