I could worry more about things that may be urged by the doctors. Medicine, machines. Who knows best?
I worry less right now because I know: I am not a disease. I am a person and most of me is well.
Because I am a "healer."
I did not use any IV pain medicine after the lumbar fusion.
I climbed half a flight of stairs without a PT the second day home from post-up spine rehab, because I was determined to get into that restaurant and eat dinner with my daughter. Like a well person.
I had a medical scare several years ago. Umpteen biopsies and tests later, there are no further symptoms.
Even my California dentist said I'm a healer.
I dare to believe this illness may be (or may have been) a blessing.
I have plans, and those plans don't include being an invalid.
I still meet women in their eighties who are doing fine, and looking good. One of them was still skiing last time I spoke to her. One of them, who exercises in the pool three mornings a week, is a breast cancer survivor.
It's okay to plan for a future decade.