Somewhere the part of me that was excised is either being studied by a pathologist or in storage waiting its turn. Meanwhile, a lot is on hold.
The nice thing about being on hold is that nobody is going to do anything to me that hurts today. The other nice thing is I don't have to struggle today with the impossible decisions about scary medicine, etc. The bad thing is I'm on hold.
My Literacy Program tutoring client did not appear for her appointment. Should I continue to pursue that until I know what I'll decide about treatment? How well I'll feel in the coming months? Or how lousy. Will I be able to show up for her and pay attention to the lessons and to her?
And forget getting a job. If we already have a job, somehow we get there and do our best. And usually they cut us some slack. But if we're new?
When is not enough information doing me a favor?
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