WHY I DIDN'T FILL THE PRESCRIPTIONS

A week or so ago, I told the doctor that I had started having backaches.  I mentioned that someone had given me a list of anxiety symptoms, and backache was second on the list.  We had a long talk about medicine; he asked me if I would take the anti-anxiety medicine. I stated my objections.  He assured me he was giving me a dose a baby could take.  I asked if I would be safe to drive after the first pill, and he said No.  told me to take it in the evening when I "settle in."   As he walked to the next patient, I looked at the prescription:  Diazepam.  (Dp.)  I called out, but he didn't come back.

I had told him I would take it, but when I got home, I considered my age and the two things I already take for sleep.  I forgot about the effect  those other meds have on me when he said "anti-anxiety." That may not be the first time I neglected the whole picture with him.  

I looked on the internet and found a lot of warnings to avoid giving Dp to people my age.  I do not want to fall again.  I looked in my Rx insurance book, and they want prior approval before they cover Dp.  Seems like another red flag.

Now the situation that caused the anxiety seems ended.  And the backaches are so mild that if I'm busy enough, I don't notice them.

This is the second time I have not taken medicine he has prescribed.  He spent a lot of time with me on this. And I still have a scrip from the podiatrist for compounding an anti-inflammatory cream that I haven't filled. 

Am I now Ms. non-compliant patient?  A time-waster?  

Where does my responsibility to the doctor clash with my responsibility to myself?  And my right to make decisions?