Saturday, March 15, 2014

TAMOXIFEN - THE FIRST MONTH - Twigs, berries, and crazy pills

Woke up hungry again. Yet I seem to be gaining more weight.  Have to remind the doctor that I was tapering off soy weeks before I started Tamoxifen, and that difference in my daily food seems huge - the third total change in diet in just over two years.  I need to consider that microwaving boxed soup may save me. 

Once I wake up hungry, it's eat or accept that I may not get back to sleep.  Then, if I eat, because of GERD, I'm not supposed to lie down again, but of course I do.  

And the sinuses aren't great.  Soy milk, of course, isn't "milk" so didn't aggravate allergies.  

There really is soy in the cough drops!  And in the antacid.

Almost all my discomforts are a matter of degree.  I've waked up hungry in the past.  But this much weight is unusual.

If there's a bottom line, it's depression. A circular reaction to all these changes.  And yet I had small inklings of it weeks or months ago.  Maybe even before the bad news at the repeat mammograms?  One more thing to ask the medical oncologist Thursday.

Yes, I'm grateful I only had "baby cancer" or "non cancer" or whatever they call it this month.  Yes, I'm grateful that this medicine is a chance to stay well.  But as that wonderful counselor said long ago:  Yes, it could be worse.  But it could be better. 

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