This is what I have learned so far, over and over and over:
1. Some substances being sold to pour on your cereal or in your coffee can disgust you so much that you rush to a coffee shop and put three sugars and two creams in your coffee.
2. Absolutely put down the spoon between bites even if you are reading the exciting part of the mystery novel.
3. Chewing each bite 26 times prepares food for your stomach and can make you late for work.
4. After a certain age, losing a lot of weight can make your skin hang like a monk’s bathrobe.
5. After you reach a weight your doctor likes, you still MUST view your rear when trying on pants.
6. It is not nice to punish your kids by making them drink the stuff mentioned in #1.
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