TALKING WITH DOCTORS - My wishes come true, at least in one place

A few years ago, my primary doctor suggested a dentist who would be closer to home for me, and who had done some good work for one of his relatives.  I went for the initial appointment, agreed to the $200, and sat in the chair with my back to the door. 

I heard someone come in behind me, and papers rustling.  Puzzled, I asked, "Hello?"  

It was the doctor.  I made some comment, and he said to my back, "I like to look at the file before I talk to the patient."  

I wanted to say, "I like a dentist to speak to me when he comes in, not ignore me."  In the waiting room were large vases of flowers that I assumed were from happy patients.  I was not happy.  I never went back.

Today KevinMD had an article by Claire McCarthy, MD, called What To Do If Your Doctor Isn't Polite.  Of course, that's the first article I read.  And it made me very happy.

She begins by saying she's almost afraid to ask if a doctor who's new to us introduces himself, explains why he is there and what he is supposed to do for us?

She mentions her experience - that doctors who forget to be polite (to us) are are often very pleasant and polite except with the patient. 

She talks about teaching communication skills to residents at Boston Children's Hospital.  (Thank goodness.)  Mentions being themselves and thinking  of patients...as friends. (Then, what I think should be carved above hospital and doctors' office doors)  "... better relationships lead to better care."  

By then I'm really smiling!  I've blogged here what I liked about my favorite doctors, including my new surgeon.  They they felt like friends, sometimes from the very first meeting.  

Isn't it easier to accept what we have to do when we hear it from a doctor friend?  Isn't it easier to believe he or she is going to some trouble for us - not just announcing treatment A, and then leaving the room?  

If a doctor doesn't take the initiative, she suggests we hold out our hand, introduce ourselves, and ask the doctor to sit down.  

Okay, this gives me a little guilt nudge:  As we enter a doctor's office for the first time, or when a doctor we haven't met enters our room, have we already made up our minds he'll act like a stranger and be distant and formal?   

Am I ready to experiment with holding out my hand and asking the doctor to sit down?

IF MY FAVORITE DOCTORS TAUGHT IN MEDICAL SCHOOL

I think my favorite doctors would say:

1. Look at the patient when you speak, no matter how many relatives are there.

2.  Talk with the patient, not about the patient. Example:  Her scar looks good is talking about her.  She wants to hear Your scar looks good. 

3.  The only exceptions to 1 and 2 are if the patient is in a coma or unconscious. 

4.  Talk with the patient like a friend.  

5.  Patients deserve respect. Even popular auto mechanics talk to the customer after operating on the car.

6. Some diagnoses and diseases are overwhelming for people of any age or intelligence.  The patient may not be able to think what to ask until later. Talk on the phone, at least for 20 seconds.  Even a great  nurse or staff member may not always repeat exactly what the patient asked, or your answer.  

7. Try to avoid initials and unnecessary long words.

8. Patients don't sue doctors they like.  Really.

9. Even if you're training a nurse, take at least a minute alone with the patient. 

10. If other doctors or practices aren't sending you necessary info, let the patient know you're stepping across the hall to call and straighten it out. It reassures the patient and shows you're taking care of him.


To all the good doctors in the world, I wish you respect from us, the patients.